Monday, March 27, 2006

Great Literary Taunts

In lieu of my own biting sarcasm I offer these spiteful gems:

GREAT LITERARY TAUNTS

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
--- Stephen Bishop

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
--- Winston Churchill (about Clement Atlee)

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing
trivial." --- Irvin S. Cobb

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with
great pleasure." --- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to
the dictionary." --- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"He had delusions of adequacy." --- Walter Kerr

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." --- Groucho Marx

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of
human knowledge." --- Thomas Brackett Reed

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." --- Forrest Tucker

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I
approved of it." --- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." --- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." --- Oscar Wilde

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." --- Oscar Wilde

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." --- Billy Wilde
--

3 comments:

Casey said...

How about the greatest taunt of all time (which of course can only be paraphrased):

"If there is no God, all is permitted."

--Dostoevsky's Ivan K.

kfd313 said...

Yeah, but it isn't funny.

kfd313

srt said...

Strictly in response to the post:

Ohhh, Snaapp!! o no u did'n

I'm going to print these out, memorize them, and pass them off as my own, thus enacting my own delusions of adequacy.